Thursday, April 30, 2009

Our home away from Home

I think that there could be a problem that the world don't see the "real" Australia. It has to be an issue that they don't get the right impression about us.
It seems that our reputation is based on a theory that we all say 'g'day' constantly, show off an extensive arsenal of knives, and occasionally tackling a crocodile and for being loud, abusive angry film stars in Hollywood. And this is all based on the fact that our best media representations to the world are our down to earth khaki wrestling crocodiles, our bus riding drag queens, our megalomaniac media moguls and a psychotic vengeance seeking lawman with a penchance for Leather.

I believe we should start to send out better representations from our moat-bound isle than these shallow representations of our fair nation. I don't think we can just rely on the bywords of our tourists and mentions in occasional distopyan action movies. Can we actoally get our greatest minds together and not throw money at Baz Luhrman as an ad campaign. I didn't have much respect for the Lara Bingle 'Bloody Hell' ad campaign but at least it showed a semblance of our dry humour and irreverent swearing to the world. Can we get our tourist ads produced on an "underbelly" tone with sex, violence and possibly bootlegging. Or maybe get our very own Kath and Kim production house to show the virtues of the outer outer eastern regions of Melbourne and surrounding housing estates in all their outspoken glory.

But this may not be a problem for our island nation but in actual fact I see this as a great opportunity. While we are percieved as fun loving freedom wanting individuals we can now plan our best takeover of the world. We can sit behind this thin mask of incorrect perception and plan for a global world domination.
Who's to say the process isn't already in effect with Australian expats getting control of major media outlets and the world beer supplies we may be halfway to grinding the world to a halt should our nefarious demands not be met.

And now, I think I should be off. Our nation is in need of an Art Deco style lair built around an active volcano. I have a spade and a shovel and I'm going to dig till I find Lava.


Light said...

Dear Mr fine,

I find this article very offensive.
I can't believe that your assuming everyone here in Oz is like you. For one, my pet Kangaroo behaves very well in the backyard and on the most part tells me when jimmy needs help from having had fallen down a cliff.
And poor Lara, such a sweet girl. She was just trying give people a taste of how we all speak'n that.
You can't blame her for that, plus, she's a pretty kinda bird don't you think?

Now, my father was hurt rather badly the last time he wrestled a crock so you can't blame him for carrying around his knife set. One must be prepared you know.

Sheamus said...

Perhaps a Red Bubble writers/photographer's meet at the Wesley Anne could be used as the basis of a new advertising campaign. Art, drama, alcohol, emotion, sex, opinionated ranting, conflict, cheers, depravity, tears, calamity. And everyone can be played by Chris Lilley.

Mister Fine said...

Light, I will have to post a 'fair dinkum' retraction but this damn tassy devil keeps chewing on the keyboard. I'll just have to get Skip to deliver it to you personally.

Mister Fine said...

Sheamus, Chris Lilley is fine but Russell Crowe wants to get in on the action as he feels left out. He'll throw a random phone across the table at regular intervals.

Sheamus said...

OK, Russell Crowe can play me then I guess. Or Yase, whoever he'd prefer.