So the new stationmasters have stepped in to the boots that Connex left with much fanfare, flashy lights and other such media releases. Much hullabaloo is also being made about the fact that nothing seems to be changing and that a few days in we should nail them to a cross and dancing around with pitchforks.
I’m holding my judgement for now.
The new breed of owners who’s new ‘original’ name is Metro have already started by stomping all over whatever respectability ‘Connex’ had by decrying the lack of service for the trains, the fact that parts are missing and that they are not ‘Connex’.
Now I know, that every media outlet has been banging on about the fact that out of 3000 + members of the company only about 20 people right up the top have moved onto another job at another place (most likely with a good send off with a banquet and all) but I think it needs to be absolutely clear on this.
Trains are identical - Check
Tracks are identical – Check
Staff are still wearing the badly fitting overcoats – Check
Control System is still identical – Check
MX still handed out haphazardly at stations – Check
Occasional spin still sent out by Transport Minister – Check
Transit Authority still informing us that it won’t be fixed overnight –Check
It doesn't seem that different to me personally. But on that last point is where I start to get a little annoyed. We just went out to the world to look for the people who are prepared to offer us the method to turn our ailing system around and they haven’t completed it already?
I don’t care if the infrastructure is so bad we might as well wrap it all up in Gaffer tape or that every train is sticking together entirely based on the belief held by Lynne Kosky in flying pigs but they should be able to fix this thing quick smart. Considering how long and arduous this tender process was I can’ think why we didn’t get a team who promised converting lead into gold, water into wine and bus stops into nightclubs, all in the first night.
I have noticed a few new changes though already, apart from the occasional new executive laughing uproariously from the Metro head office. As one of the new changes is for more information on announcements, I presume Commuters will now get a clipped female reading full romantic history of all trains should any of them need a mental fatigue day. Granted it will tell us what actually happened but it will be dull and boring but wouldn’t it be better to have a droll sarcastic voice yelling out obscenities to help the commuters at least know it annoys the operators and workers just as much them.
Still I’ll give them 90 days(28 Feb 2010) before I properly yell and abuse them. I don’t know why but I would actually like them to get the system working to cover the 600,000 people who travel daily. And if they need it, I’m more than happy to yell obscenities over the loudspeaker instead of the current announcements.
Showing posts with label australia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label australia. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Our home away from Home
I think that there could be a problem that the world don't see the "real" Australia. It has to be an issue that they don't get the right impression about us.
It seems that our reputation is based on a theory that we all say 'g'day' constantly, show off an extensive arsenal of knives, and occasionally tackling a crocodile and for being loud, abusive angry film stars in Hollywood. And this is all based on the fact that our best media representations to the world are our down to earth khaki wrestling crocodiles, our bus riding drag queens, our megalomaniac media moguls and a psychotic vengeance seeking lawman with a penchance for Leather.
I believe we should start to send out better representations from our moat-bound isle than these shallow representations of our fair nation. I don't think we can just rely on the bywords of our tourists and mentions in occasional distopyan action movies. Can we actoally get our greatest minds together and not throw money at Baz Luhrman as an ad campaign. I didn't have much respect for the Lara Bingle 'Bloody Hell' ad campaign but at least it showed a semblance of our dry humour and irreverent swearing to the world. Can we get our tourist ads produced on an "underbelly" tone with sex, violence and possibly bootlegging. Or maybe get our very own Kath and Kim production house to show the virtues of the outer outer eastern regions of Melbourne and surrounding housing estates in all their outspoken glory.
But this may not be a problem for our island nation but in actual fact I see this as a great opportunity. While we are percieved as fun loving freedom wanting individuals we can now plan our best takeover of the world. We can sit behind this thin mask of incorrect perception and plan for a global world domination.
Who's to say the process isn't already in effect with Australian expats getting control of major media outlets and the world beer supplies we may be halfway to grinding the world to a halt should our nefarious demands not be met.
And now, I think I should be off. Our nation is in need of an Art Deco style lair built around an active volcano. I have a spade and a shovel and I'm going to dig till I find Lava.
It seems that our reputation is based on a theory that we all say 'g'day' constantly, show off an extensive arsenal of knives, and occasionally tackling a crocodile and for being loud, abusive angry film stars in Hollywood. And this is all based on the fact that our best media representations to the world are our down to earth khaki wrestling crocodiles, our bus riding drag queens, our megalomaniac media moguls and a psychotic vengeance seeking lawman with a penchance for Leather.
I believe we should start to send out better representations from our moat-bound isle than these shallow representations of our fair nation. I don't think we can just rely on the bywords of our tourists and mentions in occasional distopyan action movies. Can we actoally get our greatest minds together and not throw money at Baz Luhrman as an ad campaign. I didn't have much respect for the Lara Bingle 'Bloody Hell' ad campaign but at least it showed a semblance of our dry humour and irreverent swearing to the world. Can we get our tourist ads produced on an "underbelly" tone with sex, violence and possibly bootlegging. Or maybe get our very own Kath and Kim production house to show the virtues of the outer outer eastern regions of Melbourne and surrounding housing estates in all their outspoken glory.
But this may not be a problem for our island nation but in actual fact I see this as a great opportunity. While we are percieved as fun loving freedom wanting individuals we can now plan our best takeover of the world. We can sit behind this thin mask of incorrect perception and plan for a global world domination.
Who's to say the process isn't already in effect with Australian expats getting control of major media outlets and the world beer supplies we may be halfway to grinding the world to a halt should our nefarious demands not be met.
And now, I think I should be off. Our nation is in need of an Art Deco style lair built around an active volcano. I have a spade and a shovel and I'm going to dig till I find Lava.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
What's in a name?(What's their name?)
Have you ever asked yourself what is really in a name?
What defines you to someone else?
What makes them remember that your name is not Fred or Antoinette?
Because often, if you're in this fair country of ours it's not the name that people will refer to you. I mean what is really in the use of a name. It's whole idea is to give you an individual persona but it's real usage is only to identify you in documents, across a crowded room and by the police should they ask your friend who it was that drove them from the scene of the crime.
But the real heart of your personal moniker is the nickname, especially in your local neighbourhood and workplace. With such a diverse creative flair in most people Darren can become anything by shortening from D to Dazza to D-ren then to lengthening it to something like Dublin Darren even if he’s from Bangalore and has a liking of Gridiron. And with our current trend of expanding nicknames Dublin can change to Ireland and be Irish in a blink of an eye.
So this very Australian method or renaming people, places, animals and any other noun within sight probably has a lot to do with the fact that few Australians speak clearly enough for you to understand there name. If they happen to be from somewhere like Melbourne. They tend to speak with speeds akin to a Japanese bullet train whereas up north near Cairns the vocals are so drawn out that by playing there words back at double the rate it still takes a minute to say the name Bob.
So the fallout of such a movement inside this country is that no-one actually knows the real name of a person that they talk too and the ‘AKA’ line in the Police report looks more like an internet phone directory. Many a friend gets into a conversation with another on a street corner only to start referring to them as Walker, for walking around all the time.
Still, you can take heart in the fact, that when your parents failed miserably in attempting to give you an unshorten-able name that they didn’t call you Moses or Apple and expect you to go through a playground without any minders.
What defines you to someone else?
What makes them remember that your name is not Fred or Antoinette?
Because often, if you're in this fair country of ours it's not the name that people will refer to you. I mean what is really in the use of a name. It's whole idea is to give you an individual persona but it's real usage is only to identify you in documents, across a crowded room and by the police should they ask your friend who it was that drove them from the scene of the crime.
But the real heart of your personal moniker is the nickname, especially in your local neighbourhood and workplace. With such a diverse creative flair in most people Darren can become anything by shortening from D to Dazza to D-ren then to lengthening it to something like Dublin Darren even if he’s from Bangalore and has a liking of Gridiron. And with our current trend of expanding nicknames Dublin can change to Ireland and be Irish in a blink of an eye.
So this very Australian method or renaming people, places, animals and any other noun within sight probably has a lot to do with the fact that few Australians speak clearly enough for you to understand there name. If they happen to be from somewhere like Melbourne. They tend to speak with speeds akin to a Japanese bullet train whereas up north near Cairns the vocals are so drawn out that by playing there words back at double the rate it still takes a minute to say the name Bob.
So the fallout of such a movement inside this country is that no-one actually knows the real name of a person that they talk too and the ‘AKA’ line in the Police report looks more like an internet phone directory. Many a friend gets into a conversation with another on a street corner only to start referring to them as Walker, for walking around all the time.
Still, you can take heart in the fact, that when your parents failed miserably in attempting to give you an unshorten-able name that they didn’t call you Moses or Apple and expect you to go through a playground without any minders.
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