90 days of Hell(now rebranded as Metro)

So the new stationmasters have stepped in to the boots that Connex left with much fanfare, flashy lights and other such media releases. Much hullabaloo is also being made about the fact that nothing seems to be changing and that a few days in we should nail them to a cross and dancing around with pitchforks.

I’m holding my judgement for now.

The new breed of owners who’s new ‘original’ name is Metro have already started by stomping all over whatever respectability ‘Connex’ had by decrying the lack of service for the trains, the fact that parts are missing and that they are not ‘Connex’.
Now I know, that every media outlet has been banging on about the fact that out of 3000 + members of the company only about 20 people right up the top have moved onto another job at another place (most likely with a good send off with a banquet and all) but I think it needs to be absolutely clear on this.

Trains are identical - Check
Tracks are identical – Check
Staff are still wearing the badly fitting overcoats – Check
Control System is still identical – Check
MX still handed out haphazardly at stations – Check
Occasional spin still sent out by Transport Minister – Check
Transit Authority still informing us that it won’t be fixed overnight –Check

It doesn't seem that different to me personally. But on that last point is where I start to get a little annoyed. We just went out to the world to look for the people who are prepared to offer us the method to turn our ailing system around and they haven’t completed it already?
I don’t care if the infrastructure is so bad we might as well wrap it all up in Gaffer tape or that every train is sticking together entirely based on the belief held by Lynne Kosky in flying pigs but they should be able to fix this thing quick smart. Considering how long and arduous this tender process was I can’ think why we didn’t get a team who promised converting lead into gold, water into wine and bus stops into nightclubs, all in the first night.
I have noticed a few new changes though already, apart from the occasional new executive laughing uproariously from the Metro head office. As one of the new changes is for more information on announcements, I presume Commuters will now get a clipped female reading full romantic history of all trains should any of them need a mental fatigue day. Granted it will tell us what actually happened but it will be dull and boring but wouldn’t it be better to have a droll sarcastic voice yelling out obscenities to help the commuters at least know it annoys the operators and workers just as much them.

Still I’ll give them 90 days(28 Feb 2010) before I properly yell and abuse them. I don’t know why but I would actually like them to get the system working to cover the 600,000 people who travel daily. And if they need it, I’m more than happy to yell obscenities over the loudspeaker instead of the current announcements.

Fraser Island - A guide to misadventure. Part 1

In the first place I must make it absolutely clear. Fraser Island is absolutely stunning. It has vistas that are amazing, stupendous waterways and sand so clean and smooth you can almost see your face in it. The hard part is that the promise of all this is fulfilled as long as you can get through terrain that make Mountain Goats quail in their boots.

Fraser Island has a wonderful capability of being almost entirely inaccessible to all vehicles indicated as 2WD, AWD and almost all but the hardiest of 4WD.These roads are not designed for the Sunday driver with his black SUV and alloy wheels at all and the smoothest one of all is really a picturesque beach on the east side with stupendous views between the diesel swilling hulks that glide across the waterfront and the occasional plane landing.
So you won't see any sub height four wheel drives tentatively worrying about rolling over gravel here unless they're dropping in and out at the resort carpark to the waiting ferry and the closest you'll get to an urban wax and wash is a hose on a stand wating to fill an overheated radiator.
If you have something that hasn't seen anything worse than dust on the AWD badge I'd steer it clear of the whole place let alone the local grocery markets curb.

Like bulls in a china shop these actual all terrain overblown vehicle look like they could take on a herd of wilderbeast and win. If you're really lucky, you get to see a miniturized version in a Suzuki Jimny, that is about a quarter the size and tenth the power, and is used to transit an extra one or two passengers behind a whale of metal, like an elephant calf trailing it's mother revving that much extra just to keep up. I can only think that if it did break down it could just sit on the roofrack back to the nearest resort.

But I do recommend you go there. It's definitely worth the fun but get a chiropractor to check you're neck beforehand especially if you're heading in as a passenger, as will need to know how good your back was before it was twisted into knots. The roads make the travel bumpy and moving at a rate of about ten kilometers an hour seems even worse when you're travelling for a good eighteen across the island sitting in the center back seat.

And the views here are stunning. You can't take a step without wanting to whip out your camera and record the days lunch with everyone still eating and a goanna eyeing off your meal. My own face now has tan lines indicating how long I pressed the eyepiece to my eye and burnt the skin off. And the best part of having a digital camera is that the place looks great behind the screen. Just remember to look occasionally without the camera as some of the most dangerous creatures do exist in the region and in no way does it help to limit yourself to tunnel vision.

So the real four wheel drives are the way to go for this haven of tourists and the sights are truly worthy of two panoramic office like photographs at once. The one real eyeopener for the whole trip was that on the drive back, the workhorse vehicle we'd been pushing through the island decided that it's clutch would give out, and though it wasn't the best time, I'm just glad we weren't in a region where the locals recommend you defend yourself aggressively(which could mean something like carpet bombing) against the local fauna as they are proudly on the top ten most dangerous shows regularily. Thankfully out there the only dangerous things are the locals, the tourists and the ants.

As well as this we were all within phoning distance that made it a whole lot easier.
So the driving was enjoyable, the stopping was not so dangerous and the chiropractor is now happy he's back on my quick-dial register.
Now please excuse me while I disinfect a bite on my arm, I'm still looking for a german tourist anti-venom.